I don't know what is going on with me. I hate myself so much...i just keep gaining weight. I hate that i have no self control. I'm losing faith in myself to reach my goal of being 120 by the end of this month. I hate that i am so ugly. I'm liquid fasting for the next three days in hopes of giving me some strength...i do really well if i see the scale going down. Its when it constantly stays the same or especially goes up that i want to roll over and die. 
GRRRRRR....................so frustrated today.

Current Mood: angry

I'm so gross today...my husband is home and has been getting on my case about not eating...i've been lying a lot to him which really sucks...and trying to fake eat. Today i had to eat a little infront of him just so he will leave me alone. I worked out right away...i just cant purge today...my throat is so sore. The scale hasnt gone up yet but now i know its not going down either. I feel so gross. Maybe now he will leave me alone again...Sorry to vent...

Current Mood: guilty

I'm so gross...why does food control my life??

Current Mood: depressed